By the NH Office of the Child Advocate team
It’s that time of year again when warm days are replaced by crisp breezes; when leaves on the trees change to a brilliant rainbow of colors before falling to the ground and creating piles to be jumped into. Families decorate their houses with pumpkins, hay bales, cornstalks, spiderwebs, and skeletons, and the masses rush to purchase or create the perfect Halloween costume. Some people are really into Halloween, but not everyone is excited for scary masks and things that go bump in the night. Halloween can be a stressful and anxiety-inducing time for kids, especially teens, due to the social pressures that come with dressing up and engaging in haunted events. The team at the Office of the Child Advocate enjoyed reflecting on Halloweens past and how those experiences have shaped their views and traditions today.
The OCA’s PR Representative dressed up as Rosie the Riveter as a teen, using items and clothing from around her home. She was so proud of the costume she had created but was made fun of by some of her classmates because it wasn’t considered by them to be “cool” or “attractive.” This made her more self-conscious when it came to dressing up for Halloween parties. Being supportive and letting your teen choose their costume or skip attending the costume party altogether can help ease their anxiety during this time. Luckily, the pressures of wearing certain types of Halloween costumes lifted as she got older, and she now enjoys dressing up, even as an adult.
The Child Advocate shared her experience with scary movies and places like haunted houses or fright night events causing nightmares. As a teen, there was a lot of pressure to go to these events, so reluctantly she would go but the level of anxiety she carried was debilitating. Some kids just don’t like to be scared, and unfortunately, she passed that trait onto her own child. As a parent who understands the very real fear felt internally, she now carefully reviews movies and reads details about fall time events to ensure this frightful component will not impact her child. There are plenty of other fall activities that are not as scary, such as apple picking, hayrides, or pumpkin carving. Respecting boundaries by offering a variety of activities, without pressure to choose a specific one, is a great way to support all of those around you.
Halloween can also cause sensory overload for some kids. The OCA Legislative Director’s daughter struggled with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) when she was young—store-bought costumes often didn’t “feel right;” requested make up for a costume would end up being too itchy and uncomfortable; and flashing lights, loud or spooky sounds, and music at friend’s parties were overstimulating. Being conscious of these issues and seeking out more sensory-friendly activities and community events, such as “harvest” festivals and outdoor Halloween parties, made them more accessible and less stressful for the entire family. While out enjoying any fall festivities, please remember to be mindful of and patient with those who might be struggling with the overwhelming sights and sounds of the season.
From being mindful of those with fears of frights and those with sensory sensitivities, to paying attention to those with allergies, it is important to approach this holiday, and other special events in children’s lives, with an emphasis on inclusion. The OCA Legal Aide’s daughter is highly allergic to a multitude of foods and has struggled with Halloween because she expresses feelings of being left out, while also balancing fear that she might be exposed to something that could make her sick by participating. Providing non-food alternatives to trick or treaters and in party settings is one way to not only help those with allergies feel included, but it also can alleviate anxiety about possible exposure and reduce stigma from having to point out that they can’t safely participate in the same way as their peers. Be on the lookout for those carrying a teal pumpkin, as they are a great way to let others know that a child has allergies without them having to say the words out loud.
We hope that whether your kids and teens make their own costumes or go storebought, skip haunted houses and scary movies or go full fright, focus on celebrating autumn and its natural beauty, or opt out of Halloween altogether, they are afforded the support and encouragement to make this season a happy, healthy and memorable time!
Happy Halloween from the Office of the Child Advocate
