Written by Abby, Magnify Voices Artist
Last month, I spoke about hope in front of two thousand others gathered at NAMIWalks New Hampshire. My journey of holding gratitude for life, however, didn’t start there. It started with pencil lines, paintbrush strokes and a message brought to light through symbols. I used the power of art to tell a story that I wasn’t yet ready to share aloud.
Art was the first way I was able to form my thoughts into something outside of pain. I would paint the ways my emotions felt inside of me and use those art pieces as talking points with my supporters, bringing me out of silence. That feeling of difficulty as I began to share brought my family appreciation from finally being able to understand and gave them opportunities to share their hope with me.
Through folding 1,000 paper cranes as my promise toward staying alive, art became the first form of hope I could hold for myself and eventually brought me thankfulness for having continued to stay each day. Every individual fold brought me one step closer to believing in life in this way. When I became a finalist with my painting in the Magnify Voices Expressive Arts Contest, I was touched by the fact that my true, honest emotions, painted as my own heart, had reached the hearts of others who found it reflected parts of all of us. That’s when I first saw it wasn’t only me my art had helped, and that sharing openly impacts lives of all kinds.
When I attended the celebration the next year as the keynote speaker, I truly saw the meaning in connecting over shared experiences. Looking at everyone’s artwork moved me, and I could feel the courage that surrounded us in that room. That was the first time I spoke to an audience about my story, and that night was an early step in my journey to sharing the message of hope with others. Without that art piece, and the world that went on in order for it to be created, I wouldn’t have learned the power of expression. That night, I remember feeling grateful that I had survived, and for the people in my life who always believed I could.
After participating in Magnify Voices, I have become involved with different mental health organizations across New Hampshire. Within these, I continue to share hidden hope, be an advocate, and circle our communities with awareness instead of stigma.
As a NAMI Ending the Silence and In Our Own Voice speaker, I have grown into a version of myself that fears silence more than sharing hard realities. I am incredibly thankful for the people at NAMI NH and my personal supporters, who all played a part in me getting here. As I speak about my story to audiences, I am speaking for all of us who deserve to exist outside of that silence.
Being a member of YouthWell Voices has helped me grow in countless ways. From connecting with other members passionate about youth mental health to traveling around New Hampshire sharing hope and resources, YouthWell has impacted my view on the ways meaning exists and the opportunities we can share it in.
Over the past year, I have been a Youth Ambassador for Connor’s Climb Foundation, and I have found that so many of our peers are working toward hopeful impacts surrounding mental health and suicide prevention. Seeing this in action is something to be thankful for. These differences being made start with each individual who believes in hope for all of us.
My paper cranes were the first form of hope I created for myself, and today I look to share that hope with others. I started Abby’s Patient Paper, where I’ve folded and given away hundreds of origami fidgets at mental health events and in the community. I make and share them with the goal of giving others a tangible way of being thought of, and a coping skill they can take along with them. It brings me gratitude to see the way a little bit of folding can bring happiness into others’ lives just as it does in mine. Abby’s Patient Paper was at the Magnify Voices Expressive Arts Contest this past year, and it will always be an incredible gift to be a part of the celebration in each different step of my path forward.
Every symbol in my heart painting reflects an experience during the hardest days I stayed through, and the light that I found throughout them. That light that exists even in pain is what I seek to share with anyone I can, in many ways. Expressing our experiences is what I’ve seen bring us together and takes the silence out of our struggles. I have learned that expression can start with anything as simple as a blank sheet of paper and a little bit of bravery. Gratitude then reminds us to be thankful for that very first step.
If you or someone you know needs immediate support, you can call, text, or chat confidentially with a trained crisis worker 24/7 through 988 at no cost – call/text 988 or chat online at 988Lifeline.org. To explore non-crisis support and resources, click here.